James Part 14

I left the hospital with mom and my stepdad. When we got to the house I found half of Anna's things in the livingroom and I found the baby bottle bank that I was saving money for her in also in the living room....EMPTY!

I remember sitting down on the couch and crying my eyes out. Mom yelled at me and said something about not putting up with my post pardum depression and to snap out of it. This was not post pardum anything...this was wanting to KILL my sister. My daughter was not even born yet and "family" was stealing from her. What a life to bring a baby into. I wish I had a real mother that would have talked to me and then I may have had sense enough to not fall for a heroin addict and get pregnant by him and live in a motel with rats and live off of "theft" money. Never knowing what the next second of my day will be like. Now I had a baby as added pressure. Although, Anna was not added pressure. She was the only thing in my life that made any sense. She was my angel. She could not do any wrong EVER. I will be a perfect mom and I will do better than my mother. I will show my daughter that she is loved!

My world changed with her. Everything was perfect because I blocked everyone else out. Anna was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks. I was still in high school but I was on the home school program for a few weeks. A week after Anna was home I was back to my old figure and I felt good. I was doing my homework by reading to Anna. Home school was a joke! As long as you can read then they will pass you.

Anna was 2 weeks old when the cops caught up to James and he was locked up. This is the first time he was really locked up since we were together and I made sure that I wrote to him almost everyday. I was back in school and I was doing the best that I could for me and Anna.

Mom was getting on my case that I was never home for Anna.....I was in school! I did not stay after and I never went out without her. This is just one example of how stupid she can be. I did manage to get a job when Anna was about 2 months old and right around that time James came home from jail.

Mom had been acting crazy and Anna was sick but I could not use our phone to call her doctor because mom was at work and she made sure we had no access to a phone when she was not home. (I told you that she is a control freak).

I used a neighbors phone and this is about the time that I decided to move away as soon as I could.

I stayed with a friend and had all of Anna's things with me. We stayed there for about 2 weeks before everything changed and my life took a turn for the worst.......Some people say that children are too young to know anything...they are not smart enough...they can always bounce back...but they are wrong!!!!! I know for a fact!

to be continued.......

James Part 15

When James came home from jail I was filled with promises that he had changed. He wanted to be the best father to Anna. I wanted this to be true and I really wanted to believe him. We were spending a lot of time together as a family. I was having some medical problems and I was not eating or drinking very much. I think it had to do with the birth control the doctors had me on.

We were shopping at a local mall when James had a seizure and was rushed to the hospital. I was right there with him and Anna's was with me also. I had called my stepmom (the crazy bitch who tried to run me over with her car) and I was making plans to move in with my dad. My stepmom came to the hospital to pick me and Anna up and take us back to my mom's house so we could get all of our things.

When I got to the house my mom, stepdad, stepmom, dad, and the friend I was staying with were all in the livingroom. At that moment I knew that this was bad....my stepmom had carried Anna into the house and gave her to my dad to hold. Mom started screaming at me and told me to get out of her house (I am not even sure what she was saying to me). I reached my arms out to get Anna and they held her away from me. I remember thinking that I was not going to get into a tug of war with my daughter and they were not giving her to me so I left the house.

I walked to the hospital screaming and crying the whole way. By the time I got there James was gone. I called his "stealing buddy" and talked to his wife and she had me take a cab to her house and I stayed there for the night.

I got with James the next day and we were back to living in motels. We found a ride to take us to get Anna from my dad's house and this time I called the cops to help me get her. The cops went to the house and came back out without Anna. I was asked who had custody of Anna. "I gave birth to her...I do" then the cop informed me that nobody had "legal custody" so if they did not want to give her back that I would have to go to court and my parents already had plans to go to court to take her from me. I thought because I gave birth to her and I was 18 (adult) that I had some rights...I guess I was wrong.

We went back to the motel and made plans to go to court that Monday. I knew this was going to be a major fight. We went to court and they lied...about everything. I still have those court papers and it pisses me off every time I see it. They made accusations that I was leaving Anna alone and she was left in diapers 3-4 days old. If you have a child then you know that it is not possible the leave a diaper on that long. If Anna slept through the night the diaper would fall off of her.

The first court date was at the end of April. Anna was 3 months old and my birthday and mothers day was in less than 2 weeks and my parents were granted custody for 200 days and I was not granted visitation. My first mothers day, my birthday was to be spent away from my baby. She was my life and they ripped her away from me. How can I ever forgive them for that? I can't.

to be continued.......